Dear Oprah

I've never actually watched your show, so it is kind of ironic that I happened to catch the last minute of it today. I was just trying to get the 5PM news. A house burned out in our neighborhood today you see, and the camera man hoped they might have the cause of the fire ready to report by news time. They didn't know yet. But it happened while no one was home, at least. How strange to hear you advising folks to discuss on-line the ways they are cutting back on possessions and simplifying their lives right as I was trying to wrap my mind around the fact that some of my neighbors would be coming home to NO possessions-not even shelter. That was irony number two. The third was, that as I was coming back into the neighborhood after taking a load of outgrown clothes to the donation center, I passed by a couple of nice looking young people carrying high-school year books and photo albums to their vehicle. You guessed it, they were from the fire. I quickly stopped to offer sympathy and see if they needed anything at all: help carrying the pathetic few belongings they had left (at least it looked like they got some of the irreplacable things out), a place to store things, a place to stay, money...you name it. Oprah, I wish you could have seen the faces of these people who just lost "everything". They were suffused with an almost radiant peace. "It is OK," they assured me. "It is only a house, only things. The important thing is, no one got hurt. We have each other.." I believe they are siblings. They mentioned grandparents and a sister they can stay with. Oprah, these were just average, everyday folks. But, they sure do have their priorities straight. What does that say about things?

Because things are not always what they seem

Sunny Sight

It is not always easy to find a laugh-out-loud passage but, with the mental image evoked in her book, Exuberance: The Passion For Life, Kay Redfield Jamison made me do it. She quotes 'Katy Payne, the acoustic biologist who was the first to extablish that elephants communicate through infrasound,' (who) 'gives a marvelous account of young elephants taking delight in the chase.'

"Young bulls love to chase things; they relish the exhilarated, chin-up, feet-splayed rush and the sight of other animals in flight, and they magnify the impact of their assaults by chasing in pairs or small gangs. Once I saw a rush of which the object was a buterfly. Eyes wide, a gang of young male elephants collectively weighing some twenty or maybe forty tons thundered to a stop as the small fairy, white and weightless, rose up out of their midst. Then each turned on his heels and fled."

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Thinking outside the box

Cross out six letter in BSAINXLEATNTEARS so that the remaining letters, without altering their sequence, spell a familiar English word.



I'm terrible at these little word puzzles, so, had to do it "wrong" to reveal the word LETTERS, in order to have the BANANAS 'duh!' moment. The point of the exercise is probably to get the point of it ; Most things can be viewed at least two different ways.

For example, two different people saw a similar sight. A little family was having dinner in a restaurant. The children displayed more energy than the parents, who were still in their work uniforms. One observer perceived the parents as exhausted and anxious from trying to feed their greed by having both mom and dad in the work place. Cast judgement on the family-for not eating at home, I guess. Took a negative spin on the whole scenario.

The other saw the parents looking tired but relaxed, and rejoiced that mom did not have to cook that night. Found it the sweetest thing to see them having a little family night out. Mentally applauded them for doing their best in difficult circumstances. Wondered what the occasion was, since they appeared to not be in a financial situation to eat out very often.

Who was right? Quite possibly neither, since no-one opted to bother the family for their take on it. Or, could be that both were "correct" in their own way. It IS possible to be 'right' and still be wrong - which reminds me of one of the quotes I recently posted over on the side bar of this blog. Most lives (but not all, of course) can be changed by a change of attitude. And, many times (but, not always) attitude indicates much about the life of the holder of it.


What else can be seen in a different way...Oh, I know! It is
another lie your parents told you.

Anybody heard this one?
"Anything worth doing is worth doing well."
(If it wasn't worth doing, who'd be doing it in the first place?)

I've seen little children bewildered by this one.
"There is a right way and a wrong way to do things."
(Do you mean the right way is your way and all other ways are wrong?)

Well, that is just not true.
But, if I don't see your point of view,
Am I not as wrong as you?
(And pretty small sees only two.)

Sunny Says

A mark of immaturity is trying to make yourself look better by putting others down. Furthermore, it makes only yourself look bad. Emotionally healthy people know the value of lifting others up, and in the process are lifted up themselves.

My "dad" story

I decided to retrieve my "funniest story about your dad" post from the Kimchee Mamas and preserve it here. Some of the other stories were absolutely hilarious. You can still link to it from the address listed at the bottom of the "mama" story posted below.


Back in the 1970's when I had returned from Korea the very first time, we had a procession of former students and fellow teachers coming to visit me as they passed through the Boston area, or, sometimes they made a special trip there just because I was there. This was back when I was single, so, it was my parent's home they were visiting. My dad, ever the effusive extrovert, loved every minute of it. One time a former student was scheduled to arrive while I was still at work. I gave him directions to the house but dad figured he'd never have the nerve to show up while I wasn't home. So, he went checking around the neighborhood, and sure enough-he found him in the parking lot of the local ice-cream shop. Just walked up to the only lost looking Asian guy and asked if he was the one. If that hadn't been the right guy, he'd have made friends with him anyway and probably invited him home. That's my dad. Anyway, dad was on foot and this guy had a rental car. So, they cooked up the plan that dad would ride along and show him where I worked. Then dad would take my car home and I would catch a ride with our guest. By the time they got to my office my poor dad was pale as a sheet and, most uncharacteristically, almost speechless. You guessed it-the guy's driving scared the wits right out of him. He wouldn't let me get in the car with him. Told the guy he could follow us. Awww! And I thought MY driving scared him. It was one of those situations where you couldn't politely laugh at the time, but we positively cackled after the fact.

Yo Mama!

I was just informed by e-mail that I am a winner in the recent "write about your dad" contest over on Kimchi Mamas. I had also attempted to enter the corresponding Rice Daddies "funny memories about your mom" contest, but after I had typed up the whole story, it didn't manage to post in the comments for some reason. It was getting late and I didn't bother to try again. Never mind. My heart was gladdened to have a chance to share memories about my dear, late parents. It seemed fitting to find out tonight that I was one of the winners, because, I was listening to mellow music on the radio and thinking about them all the way home from work... thinking about what songs I'd dedicate to them if I were to call the station's request line, and about the poems I did up for their memorial.

Since my "mom" story never actually got "out there" (which is fine-wouldn't have been fair if I won BOTH contests) I'll try to tell it here.

When mom was 75 years old I took her for her very first trip to Yosemite. At that time both of us were very interested in hiking. Specifically, she wanted to hike on the Pacific Crest Trail. We were on a spur trail on our way to the PCT when I noticed a nice waterfall with a swimable, natural pool under it. Since I had a swim-suit on underneath my clothes, I suggested we detour over there. Told her how I had long wanted to swim at the bottom of a water fall. Mom was all for it, but, on the way to the swimming hole I noticed a few naked people skinny dipping over there. I quickly tried to steer mom away from this indelicate sight. Silly me! My mom was a NURSE. She'd seen a lot more than that in her day. Anyway, she wasn't about to be deterred by a few naked people. Started stomping through the woods right towards them. She was kind of hard of hearing towards the end of her life from chronic ear infections and her normally soft spoken manner had gotten a bit louder. Well, she was pretty worked up about these naked people getting in our way and starting complaining in a louder-than-normal voice "My baby wants to swim in the waterfall and no stupid old naked people are going to stop us. They surely don't care if anyone sees them naked or they wouldn't be skinny dipping in the first place! Life is too short to care what anyone thinks anyway. Come on!" You never saw so many people snatch up their clothes and flee through the forest barefoot and in the buff when they got a glimpse of MAMA BEAR a stompin' and hollerin' their direction. I was almost in hysterics. It was so unlike her. The really funny thing was that I heard them exclaiming to each other in a foreign European-sounding language. Possibly they didn't even understand her words. And may have had an exaggerated understanding of her intent. Too hilarious! When we got to the falls, the water was a little deeper and colder than I had anticipated. But, you'd better believe I SWAM in it! She was right about life being short too. She died the very next summer of a tragic accident. I was always glad she had that experience. Glad I had it too.


If you want to read dad's story you can find it at http://kimchimamas.typepad.com/kimchi_mamas/2007/01/this_is_a_conte_1.html

Thanks RICE DADDIES
(http://ricedaddies.blogspot.com/)
and KIMCHEE MAMAS
(http://kimchimamas.typepad.com/kimchi_mamas/)
for the contest.

And, thanks for the memories.

PS Both sites are highly recommended for a good read.